To recap my last post, I’ve been an artist most of my life. I took a deep dive in college where I learned more about what it’s like to experience creative flow. The part I didn’t mention in my previous post, that we’ll use as a jumping-off point here, is that after college I stopped doing art for 20 years.
I ended my college career in art working on a degree in new media. It was a brand new field combining web design, animation, and other digital bits. I interned for, and was hired by, a Fortune 500 company to be part of their E-Business department…and I was sooooo bored. Designing corporate logos and updating websites felt like soulless work. That’s really because God was telling me, in no uncertain terms, to be a teacher. I was in design for the money, I missed making what the university categorized as “fine art”, and my heart had always been geared toward teaching. I took a big leap. But I think I might’ve over corrected.
When I started teaching, I slipped exclusively into books and didn’t even give my art a backward glance. I’d decided I wasn’t good at it. I didn’t have any “big ideas” for art. What I didn’t realize then was that I hadn’t failed. So many great artists experiment and fail. Show and fail. I was not at peace with failure. I don’t regret the decision to teach in the slightest…I feel like that’s my earthly calling…but I think it was naive to divorce myself from the work of my hands.
About a year ago, I picked up a graphite pencil and sketched my dog. I was always a portraitist and preferred acrylic paint. I had it in my mind that I could not draw animals. But I did…sitting on the couch on a Saturday night with hands that needed something to keep them busy.
Pretty soon I was falling down the watercolor rabbit hole…another medium I’d written off in my younger years. That first time back into a deep groove–in feeling as if I was at once completely and wholly focused and present, but also sliding along on someone else’s rainbow–I was hooked all over again. But this time, something was different. My faith was being rekindled through Scripture writing, and suddenly I was not alone in the flow.
I’ll leave this for now, but more is coming. Thank you for reading. Thank you for supporting me in this journey.