On Grace and Rules

I will always emphasize grace over rules when I talk about Jesus.

Not because behavior doesn’t matter, but because for so many people, the church made rules the starting point instead of Jesus. And that has left a lot of people deeply wounded.

Some were told they had to change before they could belong. Some were shamed for asking hard questions. Some were policed over clothing, language, or sexuality before anyone bothered to learn their name.

But that’s not how Jesus operated. He didn’t start with behavior correction. He started with compassion.

In John 8, a woman caught in adultery is thrown at Jesus’s feet. Everyone expects condemnation. But Jesus says, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone” (John 8:7). He protects her dignity first. Only after the crowd leaves does he say, “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Grace first. Then growth.

In Luke 19, Jesus invites himself into Zacchaeus’s home, a known tax collector and traitor. Jesus doesn’t demand repentance upfront. He offers relationship. And that grace transforms Zacchaeus’s heart: “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor…” (Luke 19:8).

Grace first. Then transformation.

And the truth is, plenty of Christians are more than willing to correct someone’s behavior, even when they don’t know them, don’t love them, or honestly should just mind their own business.

But grace listens first. Grace makes room at the table. Grace trusts the Holy Spirit to do the work that isn’t ours to do.

So yes, behavior matters. But Jesus came full of grace and truth (John 1:14). Not just truth. And not grace with strings attached.

Radical grace. Transforming grace.

That’s what I’ve experienced and that’s what I want to offer.