I am overwhelmed. I am…PMSing, let’s be honest. I have probably been indoors and introverting too much since my Christmas break started. I am cranky. Sleepy. Tired. Annoyed.
Opening an early Christmas gift didn’t even make me feel better. It made me feel guilty and consumerist (even though I love the gift). My house needs cleaning and I’ve been avoiding that…or at least not making much headway. Overwhelmed. Annoyed.
I was lying in bed last night thinking about Bible writing, which I wanted to do, but was too tired, headachey, and husband was trying to sleep. I lay there, completely overwhelmed by all the choices I have for study and by my own thoughts. I could listen to an audiobook, music, read, write. I really wanted to write, but again, I just have too many thoughts…I don’t even know where to start.
I am at once overwhelmed by God’s goodness and baffled at the way people around the world hurt each other. At last, I turned on some music because I find that God meets me there. I’m soothed. I can focus…or at least relax. I meditated. I turned on an episode of The Bible Project…back to the first episode of the God series.
I am just showing up in the noise. I’m here, God. I’m here.